Can't wait to go home...

Finally, it has stepped into my last week of training...

It seems longer than 8 weeks.

I used to be a very independant girl who didn't get home sick even if I was away from home for months. But now, merely 8 weeks of time in Edinburgh. I started to miss everyone is Singapore from the end of 5th week. Although I always complain that I was overloaded by my job, somehow I kind of missing working in theatre with my colleagues.

I miss my deardear too....Although we have tons of arguements and disagreements since the day I left for training, I still miss him very much.........

6 more days to go...I hope time really speeds up for me.

饶了一圈，一个人过生日

想不到，
走到最后，我还是一个人；
而且，最后一天是在我的生日！

他，给了我一个他很用心做的礼物-我们的照片剪辑；
他，却也给了我一个难忘的生日。

我们之间，真的很像台湾偶像剧。
小学同校，知道彼此的存在，却不曾打过交道；
初中同校，他和初恋女友在一起，我和初恋男友结束了；
高中同校，同班。被安排坐在一起，刚认识却叽喳得不得了。他和她是因为我而分开的。
高中最后一年，我和一位同班同学在一起，他却和我断了友谊，因为他喜欢我但我从来都不知道。
直到毕业旅行，我们才重新联络。而后，我和那位同学分手了，他却有了新的女朋友。
彼此在不同的国度求学，鲜少联络。但是和他相离的几年，我还是很想念我们之前的友情。毕竟，他是我最最最要好的异性朋友。
四年后，大家都踏入了社会。他开始了在KL的工作，我也继续在新加坡生活。
突然，他回来了。
我好开心，因为这代表以前的友情可以重现了！
但是，他却告诉了我他从七年前就已经喜欢我的事。
一番内心挣扎。因为我怕如果爱情不永恒，我会连友情也赔上！
于是，大家说好如果不适合，一定要做回知己。
交往不到一年，已经谈婚论嫁。
他连求婚戒也买了两枚，因为粗心的我弄丢了第一枚。
哭了好多，找了好久，还是没找回。
他没有什么钱，却拚了命还是要买回一枚给我。
九月，我离开新加坡到苏格兰训练。但却是我们的考验。
我从来不觉得那会是我们的障碍，因为我相信我们的深厚基础。
但是，我错了。
我们都没变，只是地点变了。
从九月到现在没两个月，架却吵了像两年。
不对，那不是我们原本想要的。
但，我无法改变我自己；却更不想他又任何的改变。
只是我们在爱情的看法上一直找不到平衡。
天枰找不到平衡点，一直左右摇晃。
在这样下去，天枰会塌的；倒不如，倒向一边，停在这里就好。

我欠他好多。
所以，我是应该再过一次一个人的生日。

一个人的生日，不好过；
特别是当我以为总有人会陪着我的时候，却一个人了。

对不起。
我对不起他，也对不起大家。

我又回到三年前，惩罚我自己。

Sorry

Lately, there is a lots of arguments and disagreements between me and deardear. It all started from the day I left for Edinburgh.

I just wanted to apologise......

I didn't mean to be so impatient and hot-tempered.......

I am sorry deardear...

Life in Edinburgh

Hi there! It's mid-autumn festival!Poor me have to be alone in the room and blogging pathetically while my other two housemates had gone for their London trip.

Oh well, talk about my life in Edinburgh.....Weather here is really getting more freezing. I was shivering while I was showering despite I've switched on the warmer to its maximum power! I hope I could be exempted from shower and just clean my body in the way guinea pig does.....

I was with Victor yesterday. He was very kind to let me be his assistant for kidneys benchwork. He taught me how benchwork should be done properly, which vessels to ligate and which to preserve to facilitate anastomosis during the operation. Thereafter I scrubbed up to be his scrub nurse for the kidney transplant. Oh, I was feeling kind of funny in a way that, we're from the same hometown, working in the same hospital but operating in a different place with unfamiliar faces around us. I felt as I've back to NUH assisting him in hepatectomy. Haha... That reminded me of the old day when he used to be nasty towards nurses and I scolded him for abusing my scissors. lol...

Apparently we were oncall last night! We were 'fortunate' enough to be activated for a non heart beating organs retrieval in Perth! Without my further hinting, you should know I was his scrub nurse again la.....Therefore he gave me a brief lecture on how the procedure was going to be and which instruments he used first...blah blah blah......He wasn't worry of me being too inexperience for this such operation. It was the nature of this operation forces him to behave that way. This non heart beating retrieval is really not a joke.

Imagine:
1)Patient dies, transport to OT table, clean and drape within 10 mins;
2)Enter peritoneum, cannulate both aorta and portal vein within 2 mins;
3)Open up sternum, perfusion, liver out within 20mins;

This is probably more urgent and important than AAA or cardiac temponade cases whereby you strive to save one life. However you save 3 or more lives by retrieving organs from the donor successfully and timely.

He knows that we would be working with each other closely once we get back to Singapore, hence he taught me patiently. He didn't rush or being impatient throughout the operation. Thanks Victor!

I have been out for retrieval for 6 times and I'm still enjoying it! Although I have to head to hospital in the mist of night despite the coldness and darkness. I think I must be freakingly lucky to have hopped around the hospital in Scotland for retrieval training.......hmmm....lucky me..=)